Why Letting Go Is the Hardest - and Most Liberating - Thing You’ll Do
In your creativity, work, love and life.
In many areas of my life, I’ve been practicing letting go.
It was initially triggered by grief. There’s nothing like loss to make you realize that nothing is actually in your control. And so, in the forced letting go and the deep confrontation that came with it, I began to voluntarily let go of other things:
In my creative work.
In my career.
In connections.
In expectations of people.
In the stories and thoughts that once felt like they cornered me.
And it’s been a revelation.
But I’ve also been reflecting: what might I be losing in this practice?
Does Letting Go Make You Cold and Nonchalant?
I believe there’s a distinct difference between detachment and disengagement.
I’m letting go, but I’m still leaning into life.
I’m letting go of trying to control the outcome of things, but I’m incredibly focused on the input.
What Does That Look Like?
In my creative work, I concern myself with:
The effort I put in.
My intention with the work I share.
The conditions in which I create.
Asking if I’m showing up with authenticity and honesty.
To be honest, it’s the same with dating and work. All I can do is show up with intentionality, authenticity, and openness. The right opportunities will come. The right people will be magnetized and stay.
Anything else isn’t really my concern. And that shift in perspective has been incredibly powerful and liberating.
With friendship, it means I give without expectation of receiving. But moving with abundance has meant I’ve been overwhelmed with the positive energy from the people around me.
Letting go means being open and warm, not nonchalant and cold.
The Discipline of Letting Go
There’s an element of trust in letting go - a belief that life unfolds as it needs to, not as we force it to. I remind myself of what Julia Cameron calls "morning pages" - a way to let go through writing. When I release my thoughts onto the page without judgment, I learn not to grip so tightly to every worry, every expectation.
Letting go also means shifting how I frame loss. C.S. Lewis once compared it to crossing monkey bars- you have to let go to move forward. That resonates deeply. Holding on too tightly, whether to past relationships or outdated beliefs, only keeps me stuck in place. The movement forward only happens when I release.
But it’s not just about loss - it’s also about clarity. Yung Pueblo writes that inner peace doesn’t come from controlling everything, but from learning to flow with life. I’ve found this to be true. When I trust myself to handle whatever comes, I feel lighter, freer.
Letting go of connections is hard but powerful. Paulo Coelho wrote that if you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life rewards you with a new hello. That release isn’t an ending, but a clearing for something new.
And when it comes to people’s opinions on creative work? I remind myself of Brené Brown’s wisdom: not everyone’s voice should hold weight. If someone isn’t also creating, producing, building things - putting in the work and showing up vulnerably, then their criticism doesn’t deserve my energy or particularly interest me. It’s easy to stand on the sidelines and share an opinion, and much harder and braver to actually do the things. I want to be around and hear the thoughts of people actually doing things.
Final Thoughts: Letting Go as a Daily Practice
Letting go isn’t about detachment from life - it’s about deeper presence within it. It’s about surrendering control, but not effort. It’s about moving with trust, rather than force.
It is both an art and a discipline. A muscle to be strengthened. A daily invitation to lean in, rather than hold tight.
And when we let go, we don’t lose. We make space for what is truly meant to stay.
Reset Prompts:
Letting Go of Control for a Day:
For one full day, consciously release the need to control plans, conversations, or outcomes. Observe how it impacts your stress levels and interactions with others.
Letting Go of Perfectionism:
Pick a task (writing, drawing, cooking, etc.) and do it without over-editing or striving for perfection. Let go of the outcome and focus only on the process. What happens when you shift your mindset?
The 90-Second Rule:
Neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor suggests emotions last 90 seconds unless we re-trigger them. Next time you feel frustration, anger, or anxiety, set a timer for 90 seconds and let yourself fully feel it—then let it pass.
Reset Readings on the theme of Letting Go
The Artist’s Way – Julia Cameron
The Four Agreements – Don Miguel Ruiz
The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho
A Grief Observed – C.S. Lewis
Daring Greatly – Brené Brown
Braving the Wilderness – Brené Brown
Inward – Yung Pueblo
Let’s continue the conversation
If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. What have you had to let go of recently? How has it shaped you? Drop a comment or reply—I read every response.
If you’re on your own journey of releasing control, subscribe to receive more reflections on creativity, growth, and the art of surrender. Let’s navigate this together.
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